Son of Battousai
by DonSani
Summary: Surrounds the birth of Kenji,involves Kenshin's thoughts on being a father and how his dark past may overshadow the life on his only son. Deters from the OVA storyline- Kenshin doesn't not wander again. Complete.
1. Enter Kenji

**A/N: I've never written a fic from a character's POV before, so please review to let me know how you think I did.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin**

Terms you may not be familiar with:

_Futon_: traditional style of Japanese bedding consisting of padded mattresses which is folded and put away in the morning

_Sakabatou_: Kenshin's reverse-blade sword

_Shoji_: paper-like Japanese sliding door

* * *

I clutch my sakabatou violently as yet another frightening scream rings though the air. Beads of sweat speed along the length of my jaw furiously as I take another deep breath to calm myself.

After over twenty years of perfecting my swordsmanship skills, and over ten years of swearing to protect others around me, for once my skills render useless. Perhaps the Hiten-Mitsurugi isn't all-purpose after all, and I cannot as much as lift a finger to protect the one I love the most. I cannot protect Kaoru, my Kaoru.

_It is not customary for men to be inside the birthing room until after the delivery, except of course if he is the doctor. Nevertheless, I could not pull myself away from her side, not when she was like this. The pleas of Dr. Genzai, Miss Megumi and their assistants meant nothing to me. I didn't care what they thought, I cared only about my wife, and I had to stay. But then she spoke to me, my Kaoru. She insisted that I listen to them, because they are the professionals. So I made her promise to be strong for me, and then I kissed forehead before I reluctantly left her in their care. _

It is hard to walk away from her, just as hard as it was two years ago when I left to fight Makoto Shishio. And being unable to bring myself further than two feet away from the room, I presently settle for sitting on the porch steps just outside the drawn shoji.

But her screams cannot be contained, and it takes all the strength in my body to remain in my place every time I hear her cry.

I fear birthings that I most certainly do. During my years as a wanderer, I have witnessed cases where women had lost their lives in childbirth, leaving trails of blood and screaming children behind them.

I shudder at the thought. If Kaoru dies, if I lose her, it would be my own fault. I was the one that had taken this innocent woman to bed, and made her mine and now I am responsible for being the father of her child. Though I would wander for a hundred years before allowing another man to hold claim to Kaoru, I can't help but feel guilty for doing this to her.

I have brought so much pain, and there is nothing I can do to soothe it, nothing at all. Her screams are agony to me.

I didn't exactly want a child, I was perfectly content with my Kauro, she is far more than a murderer deserves to have, even if he murders no more. My life had been one of blood and pain from the beginning, but she brings me all the happiness I could ever ask for.

Being born as a slave child in the middle of a bloody revolution had shown me the cruelty of life at a young age. After losing my parents to illness, and my guardians thereafter to murder, I became withdrawn and solemn. The happiness and innocence I should have known in those years, had been clouded by violence, and I had accepted it as the only way to live. But now, now I've come to know peace in its purest form, a peace that was presently being threatened.

Kaoru's pregnancy has been a rough one, rougher than we had anticipated, and it burdens me with a guilt I struggle to look past. She is only 19, and only recently wedded to me. Giving her a child was at the bottom of my list of things to do to her, if it had been there any at all.

When she'd been ill nine months ago, I told myself it was just a common sickness that would soon pass. But somehow, I could not help but worry that it had been because she was with child. I have relived that night, almost every day since then; it haunts me.

_That fateful night._

I had had perhaps too much sake, but I thought nothing of it. I was a simple swordsman of the peaceful Meiji era, I had a wife, a home, what could have possibly gone wrong, if I let go a little. I wasn't drunk, I remember that clearly, and neither was she, but my judgment was less than it should have been, and so was hers.

I remember thrusting her against the wall in the hallway, covering her lips with mine. We took the liberty since Yahiko was away; it meant we didn't have to be confined to our bedroom. Unable to contain myself, I took her there and then. But I do not remember releasing within her; I would never have done that, not on one of her unsafe days, which I knew like the back of my hand.

So I restrained myself, I remember spilling on the floor, but perhaps I was a second too late, the sake had without a doubt clouded my precision.I also remember the mornings that followed; it became a routine for her to empty the contents of her stomach before doing anything else. At that point I knew what had happened, but I kept it from her, I didn't want to believe it myself.

I was not prepared for a child, and she, she was still 19, she could not have been prepared either, or so I had thought. After a visit to Megumi one afternoon, she'd come home to announce the news that she was carrying my child, which was news I had known for weeks. She was happy, so for her sake, I was too, her happiness is my happiness. But in truth, I did not want this to happen.

It had been perfect with only the two of us. I enjoy her presence, her love, her body, and I try only to make her happy. A child would only burden her, and she was too innocent to see it. Furthermore, it was in a moment of miscalculation that I had created this child, it was unplanned, and now I am faced with fatherhood, something I am completely oblivious to. Something I hadn't the slightest idea how to do.

Nevertheless, I will do my best, for my Kaoru and my child.

Again, I jolt slightly as she releases another deafening scream, pulling me out of my thoughts. My mind fills with worry as I imagine her slender fingers clutching the sheets and her creamy legs spread apart as they have on so many nights. Except that now instead of bringing her pleasure, my actions have brought great pain.

Kaoru may be a strong swords-woman, but nevertheless she is a small swords-woman, small and frail; delicate. Can she really pass a child out of her womb? Will she make it?

I inhale deeply, as I try my best to pull myself together, I mustn't worry like this. Kauro is strong. She'll be fine, she will.

I close my eyes, as I decrease the pressure of my hand against my sakabatou and I try to relax, but again I fail.

"Kenshin" a voice calls.

I jump to my feet in an instant, reclaiming my grip on the hilt of my sword in the process. Then, my brain registers the voice and I release a sigh of relief.

"Sanosuke..." I say.

For some reason, my companion had left his post at the outer gate, where he and Yahiko thought they would be a safe distance from the sharper end of Kaoru's cries.

"Take it easy Kenshin" he says, as though he were giving the time of day. "Calm down before you give yourself a heart attack."

The young fighter means no harm, but his words irritate me somewhat. He doesn't understand. No one understands the fear, the guilt I feel. No one. Nevertheless, I answer him calmly.

"I'm sorry Sano, I..."

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRGH. NO NO NO NO!"

I'm cut off by the release of yet another of Kaoru's vicious screams. I wince as the manifestation of her agony rings through the air once again, and the pain in my hand tells me I've been gripping my sword too hard.

"It's not good for you to stay here." Sano quickly responds, as her scream dies into a whimper.

"The missy can get pretty loud." he chuckles awkwardly.

I feel my face form a scowl and I'm almost sure my eyes flash amber as my annoyance peaks into anger. How dare he.

He obviously senses that he's gone too far, so he continues "What I'm trying to say is, this type of stuff is natural for women Kenshin, she's perfectly fine, you'll only worry yourself when you sit around here. I know it doesn't sound like it, but everything will be fine. After all, the missy's pretty strong, especially for a girl her size."

At these words, my expression softens. He meant no harm by what he said, but it doesn't mean I need him here now.

I want to face this on my own. I need to. I do not deserve such consolations after what I have done.

"I supposed you're right Sanosuke," I say to him "but I'm the one that caused Kaoru to be in this condition, she would not have been in such pain if it was not for me, I can't bring myself to leave, that I most certainly can't."

My words are simple but true, and they achieve what I want them to. He nods kindly before leaving me be, and I thank him before I return to the position he'd found me in.

Then it happens again, another piercing cry escapes her soft lips to torment me, and the smell of blood reaches my nostrils.

"She's crowning, doctor." one of the voices within say, amidst the others telling her to _'push'_.

I sigh. Be strong my love, it will end soon.

* * *

I close my eyes as I resort to deep meditation in order to zone out the screams which keep me constantly on edge. It is the only course of action that will prevent me from thrusting my sakabatou through my chest for what I've done to my love.

I center my mind on feeling out Kaoru's ki and focus on it as I sit cross-legged on the porch. I noticed that a few minutes ago her ki felt as though it had grown impatient, agitated and painfully frustrated.

But now it feels more relaxed as though it was experiencing some kind of breakthrough. And then it happens, a new ki appears, and the shrill, high-pitched cry that accompanies it, shatters my meditation completely as I register what has happened. _The child!_

I fling my body from its position as I face the direction of the small cries. My heart thumps within my chest like a thousand drums as I steadily close the distance between myself and the shoji, and many seconds pass before I begin to rap loudly on it.

"Who's there?" a feminine voice within questions; Miss Megumi's voice without a doubt.

"Miss Megumi, is everything alright?" I enquire.

A few seconds pass, before the shoji opens and the first thing I see is the smiling, tired face of Dr. Genzai.

"Oh, it's you Mr. Himura, come in." he tells me.

I step inside in time to see half a dozen nurses working quickly around the small room, carrying water, towels, and all sorts of medical items.

My eyes travel to the futon in the corner, and then to the figure which lays propped up on with a back against the wall. _Kaoru._ She looks over at me and smiles at weakly, holding a small bundle to her breast.

"Kenshin" she breathes. My heart skips a beat, as it always does when she calls me like that, and momentarily, I freeze, unable to tear my eyes away from her.

She looks smaller than she has in months and also very tired, but there is a sense of peace about her, the kind of peace which is always present after a storm. I watch as a nurse, gently pulls a stained sheet from beneath her.

_Blood._ There is so much blood, and because of me, again. The blood of men that I have killed stains my hands to this day, and now her blood... would I ever escape the guilt of this red tormentor.

"Come, let's give them some time alone." the old doctor says, bringing me back to reality. "Kaoru we will be back to check up on you in ten minutes, as for you Mr. Himura, you can now get acquainted with your little one." he says to me.

I bow politely, "Thank you, all of you."

"It was our privilege Sir Ken" Megumi says before they all rush out.

I hear the shoji slide shut behind them, and as if on cue, I move to my beloved's side.

Kneeling beside her, I push her midnight bangs out of her eyes, as I plant as kiss on her forehead.

"Forgive me, Kaoru" I plead.

Her smile fades, "Why would you say that Kenshin?"

"I've caused you so much pain, so much bleeding… I... I can never be worthy of your love."

"Kenshin, you mustn't say such things, you have brought me so much happiness, more than I can ever ask for." she says gently.

I can never understand her logic, the way she views me, how easily she accepts me, why she loves me, it will always be beyond me.

"Look Kenshin." she tells me.

I obediently follow her eyes to the bundle in her arms; I'd forgotten about the child, I had been too consumed with my guilt.

My eyes behold the infant at last, and immediately my heart melts. All guilt is forgotten as I behold the beauty of what we have created, it is a part of us, it came from us; a product of our love. _Beautiful._

The tiny infant had fallen asleep in her arms. And I wonder how a person could be so small, so beautiful, so delicate, and so vulnerable. It was then that I realized my true duty. I must protect it at all costs, as much as I would Kaoru; they were both equally important to me.

Slowly and gently, the small person opens its eyes. Blue eyes; Kaoru's eyes, I am unable to look away.

"Do you want to hold him?" Kaoru asks, waking me from my reverie.

_'Him'_ my heart skips a beat. I had been so caught up in the pure beauty and amazement of the small child that I had forgotten to question its sex, the sex of my own child.

"Him" I ask again, audibly this time.

Kaoru catches my surprise and pleasure, "Yes Kenshin" she giggles, "I've delivered a son. Your son"

"Yes, my son." I barely manage to say; has this woman any idea how much joy she has brought me?

She carefully places him into my arms, and my heart swells with pride. To think that this small perfect person is to call me father, I am struck with pure awe.

He is beautiful, utterly beautiful. I had never imagined a child could bring any person such happiness, I for one, could not remember bringing anyone such happiness when I was a child.

I had worried in vain that his entrance into the world would take my peace away, but instead, he has added to my peace. I now have another to love, another to also call my own, our own.

I observe him more closely. His head of russet curls is clearly from me, but his eyes, they are definitely Kaoru's.

"His eyes" I say to her, "his eyes are from you."

"Yes, but he definitely has your head of hair, Kenshin."

"That he does." I exhale deeply. "He's beautiful, Kaoru."

"He most certainly is." she answers fondly.

"Thank you." I tell her.

"Thank me? For what, Kenshin?" she asks confused, her beautiful eyes, searching for the meaning of my words.

"Thank you for bringing him safely for me, thank you Kaoru, for giving me a child."

"Oh Kenshin" is all she can say, as her blue eyes fill with tears. She cries so easily.

If I could ever choose a moment for time to remain still, I swear upon my life that it would be now, this very moment, this moment of _true peace_.

* * *

**A/N:** This was meant to be a oneshot, but I have more in mind for this fic. However, I'd love to know what you think, should it end here or continue?

Thanks for reading, please review.


	2. Choices

Though this chapter isn't my last, I see it as the way the last season should have ended, instead of that OVA crap where they get some stupid disease and die.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.**

**

* * *

**

_Flashback_

_"I thank you." I tell her. _

_"Thank me? For what, Kenshin?" she asks confused, her beautiful eyes, searching for the meaning of my words._

_"Thank you for bringing him safely for me, thank you Kaoru, for giving me a child."_

_"Oh Kenshin" is all she can say, as her blue eyes fill with tears. It is so easy to may her cry, so easy._

_If I could ever choose a moment for time to freeze, I swear upon my life that it would be now, this very moment, this moment of true peace._

* * *

_Four years later_

Its June now, summer has barely begun, yet the sun blazes as though it's attempting to bake all of Japan at once. It's been an hour since Kaoru has stepped out to go to the market to replenish our meager supplies.

_The market_. Neither of us expected we'd need to go there any time in the near future. We had planted a small vegetable garden to help us save money, but it had failed; the sun had done nothing good for it at all, that and also my bad luck.

I'd never been good at farming, in fact now I despise it. As a child I remember my father being a good farmer, and during my time in the countryside with Tomoe, I'd tried my hand at it. The crop had failed miserably, and I lost most of it, just as how I'd lost Tomoe months later. Farming and I have never been friends.

I perch myself at the side of the well in our backyard, as I pour myself another cup of water from the bucket. The tiny shade from the well's roof, courtesy of Sanosuke and myself, shields me from the rays of the cruel yellow orb in the sky as I attempt to quench my thirst.

The day has been an arduous one, and I am thankful that my son is asleep. I need silence and solitude to think which was a luxury I've rarely had since he'd learned how to walk. The small child follows me everywhere I go, just like Miss Misao had years ago when I had met her on my way to Kyoto.

But unlike with Miss Misao, I am not annoyed by his presence, no, I cherish it. Nevertheless I do not understand him, why he always clings to me, why he follows me everywhere, or why he seemingly looks up to me, but I love it, I love him.

I love being a father.

But, today I embrace his silent absence, there is a lot on my mind, I must process it all before I make my decision...

"I'm back" rings a cheerful voice.

I raise my head to see my Kauro, stepping through the back shoji to greet me.

"Hello Kauro" I smile as she approaches me. "I didn't expect you to take so long."

"Apparently neither did Kenji" she says settling beside me. "He's fast asleep."

The young boy had the habit of eagerly waiting up whenever one of us went out; he rarely slept unless everyone was home, where he thought they always ought to be.

"He's very tired." I tell her.

"Tired?" she asks.

"Yes, he's been wanting to help with the chores, so I let him, after all its only good that he learns from a young age; but he passed out after lunch."

She giggles. "That's just like him to want to work; he refuses to be left out of anything."

"So why did you take so long?" I enquire.

"Well Kenshin, it seems we're not the only ones having a bad time with our crops, the market is practically empty, and all the crops I got are puny." I hear the distress in her voice.

"Never mind Kaoru" I tell her, "we'll try harder at our garden farm that we will." _Even if I can't stand farming, I'll be willing to do it for our family._

"Sure Kenshin."

"Thirsty darling?" I ask, passing her my refilled cup.

"Thank you dear; you're always so considerate"

She sips slowly, savoring every drop of the precious liquid, as though it were the last in our well.

"Come" I tell her, taking her hand. "Let's sit, we need to talk, I'll take the water bucket in case you need more."

I place the bucket beside me as we settle ourselves on the porch. My hand still holds hers even though we're sitting; it's a habit I cannot let go off.

I remember the first day I gathered enough courage to take her hand; I'd been longing to do it for months. To me, the holding of hands signified our joining together; a joining I'd longed for. She was

still shy back then, and I can remember the blush on her cheeks clearly. Since then, I don't think a day has gone by where we haven't held hands. I smile at the memory.

"What is it we need to talk about Kenshin; is it about Kenji?" she asks me.

"No dear, not Kenji." _I wish with all my heart it was Kenji_.

"Then what is it?" she questions softly, as though she is fearing the worst, she always fears the worst it seems.

"It's nothing to make you worry darling, I'm sure of that." I tell her.

"Then tell me Kenshin." _Such impatience_.

"Saito stopped by today." I say to her.

"That old wolf wasn't looking to pick a fight again, was he?" her beautiful face sports an annoyed scowl.

I chuckle, "No Kauro, he doesn't want to fight me anymore; he thinks I'm an unworthy opponent because I'm no longer Battousai, remember."

"So what did he want then?"

"I've been offered a position to serve as a special agent for the local police..."

I am cut off by the slender arms of the young woman squeezing me in a tight embrace.

"Oh Kenshin" she squeals. "That's wonderful."

"Kaoru...I"

"So will you accept it?" she asks anxiously as she pulls away.

"I don't know. Do you want me to?"

"Well Kenshin, it would be nice if you had an occupation. We hardly get by from the fees I earn from the dojo, and we have a growing boy to feed, so getting a job would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose you're right Kauro, I actually wanted to accept the job, but I had to ensure it was alright with you first."

"It's perfectly fine Kenshin; I think you should take it, as long as you won't be far away."

"I would never have considered it if it meant being away from you and Kenji." I tell her. "All my work will take place in and around this area; I'll be close to home at all times, that I will."

She smiles contentedly, "I'm happy Kenshin, very happy."

I wonder how long she has wanted this.

"I'm glad you approve Kaoru, but what about Kenji, and you have the dojo to think of too."

"It will be fine, Kenji is growing fast, and Yahiko is quickly becoming a master of Kamiya Kaashin style, so I won't have to do all the lessons myself. We will get by."

_She's right but..._

"I will surely miss Kenji that I will. I'll miss spending my days with him."

"As he will miss you, but someday he'll understand that you had to be away for his own good, Kenshin."

"I suppose he will"

"So when do you start" she asks, curiously.

"Next week."

"Next week? That's very soon Kenshin. Will you have a uniform by then?"

I can't help but chuckle at the thought myself in a navy blue stiffness of a police uniform.

"No dear, I won't be wearing any uniform. The senior police chief has decided that I've done enough for the Meiji government to have whatever comfort I desire."

_Besides, I'd never be caught dead in such close fitting pants._

"I see" she says. "I very much like that Kenshin; personally I don't think a police uniform would suit you at all."

"My thoughts exactly, dear"

She simply smiles at me in response, with that same sweet smile that had captured my heart in years ago. She's happy, and also excited, very excited, but not quite as excited as I am. I've never really had an honest occupation.

I chose to be a murderer at fourteen and a wanderer at eighteen; I have no idea what it is like to be paid for an honest daily job, but I truly cannot wait to find out.

* * *

_A year later_

**(Kenji is 5)**

My eyes follow the head of red hair as it flashes from one end of the yard to the next at a frighteningly quick pace. He's fast, very fast, perhaps yet another trait he has received from me.

I watch as the tiny boy chases the ball which matches his hair with perfect accuracy, kicking it every time it comes within reach before rushing after it again.

His frame is slender, and he is a few inches shorter than a boy his age would usually be, another trait from me I suppose.

In a split moment, betwixt his erratic motions, I spot his high cheekbones amiss the mass of unruly hair which had come undone from its high ponytail, much like the one I sported as a boy.

Each time I look at him, I see myself, in my purest, most innocent, and untainted form, a form which had been warped long ago. I

n essence he bears my exact image, with the exception of his eyes, but I'm sure if I were to take him to Kyoto on any given day, he would reign a memory of blood and darkness in the hearts of all those who knew the manslayer, Battousai.

Which is why I have chosen to keep my son from the tainted city of Kyoto, away from my past, away from my guilt, but I know it cannot be this way forever, one day I will have to take him there, I will have to show him who I was.

I dread that day, as it may be the very day I lose him, my only son. I have no idea how he will see me once he knows I was Battousai, but I believe he deserves to know, and so I will make sure he does.

But for now he would stay here, happy, and ignorant of the past of the man who begot him.

I watch as He loses his footing for a split second, before redeeming himself by reason of his flawless agility. I marvel at his skill, he is definitely my own.

"Very good Kenji. You saved yourself from falling very nicely." I tell him.

He grins his partially toothless grin, and begins chasing his round prey again. The natural child-like loss of teeth is the only thing that presently differs his appearance from mine, but once he gets older, I know he'll completely mirror me.

His speed and flexibility are unnatural for such a young child, he's only five. His fluidity would make him a perfect swordsman of the Hiten Mitsurugi, and I wonder if Master Hiko had seen the same in me when I was a boy.

Speaking of which, I may even take him to see the old man someday, in essence, Hiko is like a father to me, so he deserves the honor of knowing my son.

I feel a gentle ki approach me, Kaoru's. She sits beside me on the porch, as she has on many days. Days which have become quite infrequent since I began working for the police a year ago, after which we'd only been able to do this on one of the three days in a week when I didn't work.

"Beautiful isn't he." she says to me.

"Indeed he is, I can never stop thanking you for bearing him for me" I tell her.

She giggles, "Kenshin, you can never stop forgetting that he never would have existed without you, can you?"

I smile as I recall the night five years ago when I had had the precious sake that had helped me to create him. Perhaps Sanosuke was right when he said sake was one of the best things that happened to Japan; it had definitely brought about one of the best things that ever happened to me, the conception of my son.

"I've never imagined myself as a father" I say to her.

"Really Kenshin, why is that?"

"Well for one, I never expected to live beyond eighteen; I was a killer, so my life expectancy was very short. That is why the way of swordsmanship teaches that a boy becomes a man at 15, because he was never expected to live much longer than that. A sword is a weapon that kills, and one that takes life is never expected to embrace life for very long."

"I see" she says softly. "How sad"

I continue, "Then when I reached eighteen, I turned to wandering, and I'd expected to wander for the rest of my days. But fate had me meet you when I did, and know I have unspeakable happiness."

"Kenshin..."

"But now that I am a father, I have much to consider."

"What do you mean Kenshin?"

"The future of our son. What sort of man he becomes will weigh heavily on us, Kaoru." I answer.

"I suppose so." she says, seemingly unsure of where I was going with this.

"I want him be the best that he can be. He'll need to be taught well. I don't want him to become like I was, I don't want him to be known as the son of the Battousai."

"Kenshin, where are you going with this? You aren't going to tell me you'll be wandering off again because of your past and repentance now, will you?" she questions.

Her eyes fill with worry.

"Kaoru. No." I tell her, as I register the meaning of her words.

She breathes a sigh of relief as I caress her face with the back of my hand, a simple gesture that I've used to calm her on many occasions.

"Kaoru, I may not deserve this life that you've given me, not after taking so many lives myself. But I do have a responsibility, to you and to my son. I can't leave. I will stay here to make sure, he becomes nothing like I was. You need to get rid of your fear of me leaving, I belong here Kaoru, with you."

As sense of calmness comes over her, and I slowly pull my hand away.

"I couldn't leave you from the start in the first place." I confess. "And even more so now that you've given me a son"

I smile as she nods slowly, "Of course you couldn't Kenshin, and even if you did, you know I'd hunt you down wherever you went, and give you steady head bump out of my favorite bokken."

I smile at the confidence I see written in her face. She knows I'm hers; she knows I can never leave.

A gentle silence falls between us as we revert our attention back to our son, who had decided to retreat to the shade of the nearest tree to rest.

I somehow deem this time as perfect to take her up on my latest concerns about him.

"Do you know why I named him Kenji, Kaoru?" I ask.

"Because it's a variation of your name, so it would be fitting for your son." she answers.

"The name Kenshin, which was given to me by my master means 'heart of sword', so it is the perfect name for a swordsman_. Ken_ as you know means sword, as in _'Kenjutsu'_ (swordsmanship) and the _'shin' _means heart of. And you're correct, Kenji is a variation of my name, the only difference is the _'shin' _and the _'ji'_. The ji means _'protect with'_. So in essence, Kenji mean..."

"...means _'Protect with sword'_." she finishes.

"That's right."

"That's beautiful Kenshin"

"I'm sorry for keeping it from you. It was a selfish decision."

"What are you talking about, it's customary for fathers to name their sons, remember."

"Yes, but it's the choice of the parents to decide who their child will be, and that's where I've been selfish, Kaoru."

"What are you talking about, Kenshin?" she asks me, and I hear the annoyance in her voice.

"I named him with intent, I wanted him to become a swordsman" I explain "I was foolish for thinking such without at least sharing it with you, and I'm sorry."

"A swordsman, Kenshin you're so dense sometimes, why would you be selfish for thinking that. Our son; a swordsman? Well it's not like he had a choice, with parents like us, he was born a swordsman." Kaoru beamed.

"Oro" is all I can get myself to say, before falling over in utter surprise.

Does she mean just what she said?

"Kenshin..."

"You mean you've wanted the same thing all this time?" I ask in disbelief.

"Why wouldn't I Kenshin?"

"I...I...I don't know..."

How could I know?

"Well now that's its decided Kenshin," she continues "I just want to point out that I want him to focus on getting an education also. This is the Meiji era Kenshin, the days of mastering the sword alone are almost over, I want him to enter the Simiya School down the road as soon as he's old enough, and after school each day, he can have sword lessons with his father. Right Kenshin?"

Training with me, meant he'd learn the Hiten Mitsurugi instead of Kamiya Kaashin; so she wanted him to learn my style instead of hers. Well it's just like her to make an important decision on the spot and wrap it up all in one sentence.

In fact it had been this kind of decision-making that had caused me to end up living with her in the first place.

"Of course dear" I tell her. "Thank you."

It amazes me how well she can take a complicated or touchy subject and resolve it perfectly in a matter of seconds; no matter what it is, once it involves Kaoru Himura, it seems it will always end well.

"You're welcome Kenshin, I know how many months you've been worrying about this." she responds.

"Really?" I'm unable to hide my shock. "How?"

"Well I guess you can say I know you as much as you know me. After all, it doesn't take the Hiten Mitsurugi style for a good wife to read her husband's emotions."

"Of course it doesn't dear, you're perfectly right." I tell her. "And now that that's off my mind, I may as well start lunch, ne? I'll do the honors today."

She smiles sweetly "That's very nice of you Kenshin; I would like that very much."

Returning her smile, I rise to my feet as I head off to the kitchen. I feel nothing now more than true contentment. Perhaps I can never repent for all the blood I've shed in my lifetime on my own, but at least I can train my son to carry on protecting lives with a sword, long after I am gone, perhaps in doing such, I can finally atone...

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**A/N:** Please review; let me know what you think. Next chapter will out very soon.

Thanks for reading.


	3. Red Ponytails

In know 'Red Ponytails' isn't the ideal title for this chapter but I honestly couldn't think of anything else. But perhaps in the future, I'll have a one-shot with that title, I just might. So look out for it.

But for now, enjoy!

**A/N:** I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

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_Eight Years Later_

**(Kenji is 13)**

Leaves rustle lightly above me in the afternoon breeze, as I sit cross-legged below the old oak at the left side of the dojo. It had been a slow day at work, so I had been relieved early. However, with Kaoru being tired I was left in the company of myself; something I was now unaccustomed to.

Ever since we met so many years ago, I had hardly ever been alone, we were inseparable, and I no longer knew the loneliness of the Rurouni, I could no longer accept such loneliness.

It is a habit of mine to spend such days in her presence. Whether we talked or made love, or took a swim, it was always nice to be in her company. Today however I endure the silence of loneliness.

I suppress a sigh. Hopefully Kenji comes home soon, there was rarely ever a dull moment when he's around.

As though answering my silent prayer, a noise by the front alerts me of someone's presence.

I hear the gate open; it's about 1:30pm, so I expect its Kenji. And the loud slam I hear seconds later confirms my suspicion. _Definitely Kenji._

I wonder what has gotten to him now. His temper was truly a force to be reckoned with, it rivaled both Kaoru's and Battousai's, and now that he had entered his teens, it seemed to flare up more often than was necessary.

"Kenji" I call from my shady position.

I can tell I'll get a response soon from the sound of storming feet I hear coming my way. Sure enough,in a matter of seconds he comes within my view. He looks as I imagined he would by the way he slammed the gate. The edges of his tightened jaw were sharper than they usually were, and his eyes were heavy irritation. I know he's upset, and perhaps annoyed by the fact that I had called him before he could stalk off to his room, nevertheless I won't allow him to leave until he calms down.

"Come" I tell him "Sit with me."

I watch as he throws his satchel aside in annoyance and drops himself beside me, obviously not wanting to be here. His attitude has not been quite to mine or Kaoru's liking of late. He's been going through a phase for some time now, and it had not been easy for any of us. The most memorable highlight of his phase was perhaps the day he verbally lashed out at Kaoru. Had I not learned such humble patience as a Rurouni in my past, his outburst would have caused an all-out sword fight between us that is of course with Kaoru and I against him.

A hot-tempered woman, a hormonal teenager, and the former Battousai do not make the ideal family, but so far we've managed to be completely functional, and I swear upon my life that our family will continue to be functional.

So, it is with that in mind that I decide to rely on my wealth of patience and to carry out my fatherly duties with utmost care and attention.

So I begin, "And what is it that has you so worked up today, Kenji?"

He folds his arms, and looks away before answering. I had expected that, so I easily ignore it and wait for his response.

"I had a rough day." he says, his voice laced with intense irritation.

I smile; smiling had always helped me to pronounce my words in the most agreeable tones, even when I was extremely irritated.

"You know I'm not allowing you to leave until you tell me what it is, don't you?" I tell him.

I hear him sigh as he turns to face me. "Must you always be like this father?"

Yes, unfortunately for him, I must, I've vowed to make him turn out nothing like I did, and doing so required me giving him my full attention, even if I am insulted by his attitude. His is after all a child; all he needs is patience and attention.

"Fine" He gives in; that certainly wasn't very hard, that it wasn't.

"Sensei punished me for being late, then I got all my sums wrong, and then I got punished again because I forgot my homework, and I fell on my hurt shoulder at lunch. And to make it worst, the thing you told me would happen sometimes, happened today in class!" he finished, totally exasperated, and I watch as he goes from red with rage to red with embarrassment "I wish I knew why my life was so unfair."

So, he had genuinely suffered from a series of unfortunate events, which means that this time he has all right to be angry. Good. This will make things easier on my patience; I decide to take this battle one step at a time, as I always do, first things first.

"What do you mean by 'the thing I told you would happen'?" I enquire.

He squirms, obviously uncomfortable, and I can tell it's something embarrassing, but I have to get him to trust me, to know he can tell me anything, so I coax him on.

"Now, now, Kenji, you know that you can tell your father anything, there's no need to get uncomfortable. I'm sure it's something I'm very familiar with myself" I tell him, already guessing his situation.

"Besides" I continue. "You said I told you about it before didn't you? I'm sure it will not be difficult for us to discuss it again."

By now I am entirely sure of what it is, but I will let him tell me; he must learn to trust me enough to open up to me that he must.

He hides his eyes behind his bangs before answering, "Well you know, that embarrassing thing that you said would happen a lot."

He sighs when I do not respond, "I got hard in the middle of class for no reason at all; as if my day wasn't already long enough."

I smile gently before placing my hand on his shoulder, "Kenji, erections are normal that they are; it only proves that you're growing, and healthily too. You shouldn't make it upset you so much, that you shouldn't."

He scowls, still upset at the fact that he is unable to control his body. I cannot blame him for being troubled by something so simple; I had been exactly the same, especially when Master Hiko chose to make it an object of his teasing.

"Did anyone else notice?" I ask softly.

"Well... no, but still, of all the places for it to happen, why there? It always happens at home or some other time when it doesn't matter. But today…

I can't help but chuckle, "Well it isn't your fault Kenji, you're growing, so it will take some time for you to become fully accustomed to your body. Just be thankful you're not a girl, things could have been a lot worst if you were that they could."

This was one of the reassuring things I had to tell myself many times, in order to keep my temper in check when dealing with him, and I had never thought I would be telling him.

He smiles, "I guess so."

His mood has lightened somewhat, and I decide that is time for a subject change.

"Perhaps sparring will help to cheer you up Kenji. You may have gotten all your sums wrong, but there is one thing that you can never get wrong, and that is your swordsmanship. So are you up to it?" I question.

"Oh please father, is there ever a time when I'm not up to it?" he chuckles.

"Good, let's get to it then."

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_One Year Later_

**(Kenji is 14)**

The smell of beef stew reaches my nostrils all the way from the kitchen, mocking my hunger. It definitely smells mouth-watering. Kaoru's culinary skills have very much improved throughout the years, and now it's hard to tell her cooking different from mine.

I rest my legs on my favorite spot on the front porch.

2pm always catches me here whenever work allows for me to be home early. I have made it my duty to greet Kenji here as he arrives from school. After years of doing the same thing, I still haven't gotten tired of it; it always excites me when he comes home, and he is usually equally happy to see me, as long as school hadn't ruined his mood.

To most people we were like two halves of the same whole, we were as inseparable as a pair of twin brothers could ever be.

And who can blame them, my years of striving to bond with him as much as possible had certainly paid off sufficiently. We truly were more like brothers than father and son.

And just as I contemplate that he is already half an hour later than usual, he finally appears. Closing the gate behind him, he approaches me steadily. I study his face, before concluding that he has had a rather agreeable day, and I smile to myself.

"Hello Father." he says before taking a seat beside me as he always does.

"Hello Kenji." I reply. "I notice you're a bit late today, did everything go well at school?"

"Yes, it was fine, almost all of my sums were correct."

Still, I feel as though he is not being completely honest. Something had happened. I search his voice for signals of lying and nervousness, but I find none.

But perhaps that is to be expected, after all he is a pupil of the Hiten-Mitsurugi style, he knows better than to open his emotions before me. But though his face and his voice gave nothing away, his scent has certainly betrayed him.

"So why did you stay late today?"

"I don't understand father, I've come later than this before and you've never complained." he protests.

He's right, school ends at midday every day, and he usually never gets home until one-thirty, and occasionally two, but still...

"I know that, Kenji" I tell him "I'm simply curious; is it so wrong for me to know what you've been up to?"

It is statements like these that have caused many spats between us in the past. His temper would flare and he would storm off saying I treat him like too much of a child, and the whole thing would end with him being punished, but he's grown much, and I don't expect such foolishness from him anymore. So I pursue...

"What have you been doing?"

"Well you don't have to worry father, as the son of a police agent, I know better than to go around making trouble. I simply went down to the new Rhohoko Garden with some of the boys; it's becoming a popular place nowadays especially with the new restaurant in that area. People go there socialize all the time."

Does he really believe he can evade me so easily?

"With the boys you say?" I ask.

"Yes father with the boys." he tells me, his voice and expression still betraying no emotion. Even in the face of a lie, he was still able to hold himself together as if he was giving me the time of day.

I am irritated and insulted by his deceit, nevertheless I maintain my calm, as I usually do, not betraying my emotions either.

"So" I ask casually "Do the boys wear cherry blossom scents now, or did you purchase a bottle for yourself at the Rhohoko?"

His facade falls apart, and hint of red invades his cheeks. _Victory. _

I've rendered him speechless, so I take the opportunity to continue my interrogation.

"Tell me Kenji, who is she, and what have you been up to?"

"There's just no hiding from you, is there?" he says before standing up. "Can we at least go somewhere else; the worst thing that can happen now is for mother to walk in on this conversation."

Agreeing with him, I stand as we head off towards the path beside the river, the same path where his mother had welcomed me home from Kyoto so long ago.

Passing by the cherry trees, we stop to face the cheerful river.

"Reading emotions and hiding emotions" I tell him "Are skills I have taught you as a pupil of the Hiten-Mitsurugi style. But lying...I've never taught you to lie Kenji, especially to me, the one person you can tell everything. Why would you hide this from me?"

"I wasn't hiding it from you father, I simply wasn't ready to tell you yet." he says to me, never allowing his eyes to leave the rushing waters. "I'm sorry."

"It's better not to answer than to lie, but when it comes to me, there's an exception; as your father I must always be answered, so Kenji, answer me now. Who is she?"

"Ayume" he says, that is the single word that escapes his mouth, 'Ayume'.

"Continue" I tell him.

He sighs "She is a year younger than me, kind, sweet, she's in my class."

"And what exactly did you do with this Ayume?"

"A kiss; a lover's kiss and an embrace, behind the schoolhouse. That's all, a kiss and an embrace."

"You're fourteen Kenji, according to Genpuku you're a year away from manhood, but that doesn't give you the right to claim a woman for yourself. There is still much to know, much to learn, you're still young. You'd do best to stay away from such things."

"Father... it was only a kiss, my first kiss, is that so bad, it's not as though I took her to bed." he retorts.

"And what do you suppose lover's kisses lead to Kenji, if not bed?" I respond, still keeping my temper at a reasonable low; Kenji was the only one who could upset me this easily.

It is all because I love him so much and because he makes it so hard to protect him. Why can't he just accept what I tell him as his mother does? Life would be so much easier that way.

"I value everything that you have taught me father" he protests. "I would never do something like that outside of marriage."

I can hear the hurt in his voice, perhaps he stressed it specifically for me to detect. But hurt or not, he must be protected at all costs.

"You can never trust your own body, especially when you're so young; things may happen before you even realize it. Respect my wish Kenji and do as I say. Next year, you become a man, then she will have a year more to go before she can be recognized as a woman, so you are two years away from marrying her; don't start a fire that you can't contain before then."

"Not trust my body? How can you say that when you teach me the art of Hiten-Mitsurugi every day, father?" His eyes flash with anger and confusion; perhaps I looked the same way the day I walked away from Hiko.

"Try to understand Kenji, a swordsman is a swordsman, but a man is still a man, your body can and will betray you if you put such temptations in your way, and remember that you are yet to master the final techniques of Hiten-Mitsurugi, therefore you still have much to learn."

He scowls pertinently. He is so stubborn, but the more I look at him, the more I see myself at his age.

"I was just as you were when I was your age Kenji. That is why I ran away from Master Hiko, I refused to open my understanding and obey and respect him as a pupil should. And because of that I have had much pain and many regrets. Please, I beg you Kenji, listen to me, I only want what's best for you."

_That's all I've wanted since the day you entered the world. Why can't you see that?_

"Fine father, I'll do as you say; I'll wait till I'm a man." he says as he turns to walk away. "Excuse me."

I've read emotions of my opponents for far too long not to recognize that his words hold no conviction. He says so to appease me, but he should know that I know exactly how he feels.

I watch as his high red ponytail twirls behind him as he walks away; just as I walked away, towards Tomoe, towards pain, towards blood, towards death, towards regret. I have vowed never to witness the same with my son, and I swear I never will...

"I married when I was fifteen" I call after him. I figured these words would stop him, and they do.

I continue, "I was young, I left Hiko, I married, and now I have more regrets than any man should."

He turns to face me with a look of utter shock, "What? What did you just say?"

This is the exact response I had expected, the response which meant I know had his full attention, I had kept him from walking away from me.

"You heard me." I say as I hide my eyes behind my bangs.

"What...to whom...when?" he sputters. "I don't understand."

"Do you remember when Master Hiko told you that I had changed, last year during our visit to Kyoto?"

He nods at me, still confused.

"He was right" I continue "I had been an entirely different person who had led an entirely different life back then. I had a short marriage, which ended with death and this scar."

I lift my hand to my cheek."You've heard tales of the revolution, so you can imagine what it was like back then. My life was a dark and sad one Kenji, and it has made me who I am today."

"Father, how? I don't understand, tell me, please. If your past made you who you are today, that means I will never fully know who you are unless I know your past."

Insightful he is; he always has been.

"You're right, you don't fully know who I am, and you won't until you know where I've been."

He steps towards me, and when within range he grabs my shoulders. "Tell me, please father."

I shake my head at him, "Respect my wishes, and when you become fifteen, you'll know everything, I promise. The tale I will tell you is a man's tale, you must become a man before you hear it."

"I'm almost fifteen father, what difference will telling me now make?"

"I'll tell you when you're mature enough, that I will."

"Father" he scowls, "that's not fair, I thought you said we'd hide nothing from each other."

I smile one of my broadest smiles, "I'm not hiding it from you Kenji, I'm simply not ready to tell you yet."

"Fine" He frowns in annoyance at the familiar words. "I suppose it isn't that far away anyways, I'll wait."

"Good, now let's go back" I tell him as we retrace our steps to the dojo together.

_He's right, it isn't that far away, the day I've dreaded from the day of his birth was not far away at all, which means, I'll have to journey to Kyoto, and soon..._

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**A/N:** I do hope you're liking it so far, if you do, please review, and if you don't ,still review. You're feedback is what I feed

But seriously, leave a review.

Thanks much,

Sani.

;-)


	4. Truths of Blood

Hi, please forgive me for the long update, life has been hectic. I planned for this to be the last chapter, because I can't imagine it going any further. So yes, it ends here, thank you so much for your reviews and your support. They kept me going.

**DISCALIMER: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.**

Japanese terms:

**hanten- **_short Japanese coat; Kenshin wears on in flashback as a boy in Kyoto, the first time he faced off with Saito_**  
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**sakabatou- **_reverse-blade sword_**  
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**Genpuku-**_ ceremony signifying the entrance of a boy-swordsman into manhood (usually at age 15)_**  
**

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I choose to wear a blue hanten, I'm sure he's never seen me in one before. I've never worn one since the Revolution, back then, in the streets of Kyoto, I wore them often. I dressed that way, because it partially concealed my swords, and today is no different. I do not want my sword or rather _'our'_ swords to be the first thing he notices.

My journey to Kyoto had been rather short, it had not been a social visit, lingering was uncalled for. I had a mission to accomplish, that was all.

I chose not to stop by the Aoiya or Hiko's cabin. They would all have been disappointed that I did not bring Kaoru and their beloved Kenji anyways, especially Miss Misao, and Hijiro, Master's son.

Finally I am at the cherry blossom path along the river. I slow my steps. I am in no hurry to do what I have to, besides, I am a day early. The festivities will not begin till tomorrow. I have time; but this will take time, that it will...

**Flashback**

_I kneel behind her as I do every other night, taking great care with my task. I am not good at braiding, but I enjoy brushing the midnight silk she has for hair, so she allows me to attend to it nightly. _

_There is silence between us. I am in no mood to talk, my thoughts are a far off. _

_"Kenshin" she interrupts._

_"Yes darling?" I mumble._

_"What's bothering you, dear?"_

_My hands freeze, one holding her dark locks, and the other holding the brush in mid-air._

_"Won't you tell me Kenshin?"_

_I sigh before lowering my hands, and my eyes._

_"It's Kenji, isn't it?" she says without even turning to face me. _

_"He's almost fifteen- Genpuku, I know it troubles you, because you want him to know who you are." she says to me._

_Perhaps she senses my hesitation and unwillingness to speak._

_She turns to face me and cups my cheeks. "Kenshin, I hate when you worry. You have no need to be scared of what he will think or say. No matter what happens, he will always be your son and he will always love you. When the time comes, just tell him how you feel, that's all you need to do Kenshin."_

_"Thank you Kaoru" I tell her, her gentle comfort, soothes me somewhat. I've decided to forget about it until the time comes._

_As if reading my thoughts she tells me, "When we get to that river, we'll cross it together, but until then, please leave it alone."_

_I smile and nod gently._

_Before I respond she closes the tiny distance between us, and her soft lips taste mine. I embrace her as we melt together into the kiss._

_Breaking away momentarily, she looks into my eyes.' "Let me make you happy Kenshin"_

_Her words confuse me, and I do not understand them until she motions for me to lie flat on my back, and I close my eyes as I feel her slender frame mount my body. _

_I will obey her; I will let her make me happy, as she always has. _

_Even if my fears concerning Kenji return to me as I expect them to, I will make no room for them tonight. I will disregard my worries and allow my love to have her way with me. _

_I need her as she needs me._

_With my eyes still closed, my features grace a small smile as I hear the sound of fabric fall from her slender shoulders to the floor..._

**End Flashback**

Today is different. I can no longer hide behind the warmth of Kaoru's love to escape what I must do. Today is the day my son will become a man, today he will decide whether or not to accept this sword I have taken from Kyoto to give to him.

Today he will either love me or hate for who I really am.

"Kenji" I call without even entering the premises. I will not go in, I cannot, not yet. Memories flood my mind.

I can almost feel the warmth of spilt blood on my hands as my mind travels back to my days in Kyoto. Telling him won't be easy, that it most certainly won't.

My guilt threatens to swallow me whole, as the pang of fear I feel tempts me to run away. I cannot bear for my only son to reject me; I will not be able to stand his hatred.

What if he decides I am too tainted to be a father, just like I thought years ago before he was conceived? What if...

"Father! You're back." The teenager rushes towards me, crushing me in a warm embrace, totally unaware of the bloody truth I must eventually reveal to him.

"Father, it is good to see again, come inside, mother will be so happy to see you. You've only been gone for a few days, yet she's behaved as though she'd lost you forever."

_Kaoru._ Still fearing that I will leave, is she. I'll make certain her fears are never realized.

"Your mother has good reasons for her behavior Kenji." I tell him solemnly.

"Oro?"

I can't help but smile at his expression, perhaps he has taken more from me than I imagined.

"There is much you don't know Kenji, I promised I would tell you many things when you turned fifteen, things that only a man can bear. Come, it's time."

We walk along the same path; the one I was coming from, as head towards the river bank. He follows obediently as he always does, and I sense his confusion.

Poor child, he will hear some hard things from me today; I repel the thought of hurting him, and him hurting me.

I find a rather shady spot, to shield us from the afternoon sun, and we sit cross-legged, facing each other.

"That hanten fits you well, father; I don't remember ever seeing you wear one before." he says.

"Back in the Revolution, I wore them all the time; back when I was a very different man."

"I see, what manner of man were you father?"

I take a deep breath, "Kenji, what I tell you today, will not be easy for you to hear, but you must promise me you will hear it."

He nods.

"I traveled to Kyoto, to have a reverse-blade sword made for you, as a gift for Genpuku, and as a symbol of me passing my legacy to you."

His eyes light up, like a midnight sky with fireworks." Father! I..."

"Kenji" I cut him off. "Listen to me first."

"Yes father" he says, trying to contain his elation.

"Before you accept this sword, you must hear its story, you must hear my story. When you know everything, then you can decide whether or not to accept this gift."

He nods, and I see no more reason for delay. I hang my head so that my eyes are completely covered by my bangs, looking at him will only make this harder for me...

"My story is a long one, please listen carefully." I tell him, ensuring that my eyes are fully concealed and fixed on the ground.

I was born to a poor family, my father was a farmer, I remember little of my early life and the only thing I have left from those days, is a simple top, my father gave me."

"Is it the one you gave me when I was younger, I still have it."

"Yes, it is." I tell him. "My birth name was Shinta, I was born in a violent time.

When I was seven, my parents died of cholera, and I was left in the care of three slave women. I didn't know them long but they were good to me. Back then, the revolution had begun and times were dangerous, everyday promised bloodshed."

"I know" he tells me "We are taught about it at school."

I nod "One day, while we were traveling, bandits attacked us and murdered the women who took care of me. I had nothing left. They were going to take me too, they were going to end my suffering, but I was saved that day. Fate did not allow me peace so easily.

Master Hiko happened to pass by us, and he saved me. He murdered the bandits, took me in, and renamed me Kenshin, which is to say _'heart of sword'_, just as Kenji is to say _'protect with sword'_.

He was good to me, he taught me the all the secrets of the Hiten-Mitsurugi Ryu, except for the final attack, which I did not master till many years afterward.

"Why? Why did you not learn it, father?"

"Patience Kenji. When I was fourteen, I left the lonely cabin of my master. I had a warped sense of justice; I thought I could help those who suffered in the Revolution by wielding my sword. I didn't listen to my master's logic, I refused to understand, I was stubborn, and I paid dearly for it."

I stop to take a breath, he says nothing. I am grateful for his patience; perhaps he realizes that this is truly difficult for me.

"Master and I had a bitter argument, and then I left, I left to a life of pain and darkness, deceiving myself that I could obtain justice and salvation through violence.

I joined the Kiheitai—a Choushuu Ishin Shishi militia. One day during our training, a man called Katsura Kogorou, who was the head of the Choushuu Ishin Shishi came to inspect us, the troops.

He took a liking toward my skill and had me trained as a hitikori. That is where it fell apart..."

I felt my voice begin to break, "I...I murdered men, many men, in cold blood, without remorse, without feeling...I took lives many lives. For the sake of a new era, one which in my eyes would bring a better Japan; but instead, it is as corrupt and as bloody as the men who helped create it; as I am.

I led a dark life: spending my days, at inns, or drinking sake, and my nights, drowning my sword in blood.

I became known as Battousai- the manslayer...

"Batt...ou..sai...you?" I heard a small voice stutter, I dare not raise my eyes to meet his; I can't bear to.

"Men across Japan feared me, and trembled at the sound of my name. I was a demon of night, the one whose hair was forever stained red with the blood of those he had killed.

My sword showed no mercy, I knew nothing but the ways of blood and murder. I was cold, cold and empty, even...lonely.

When I was fifteen, I took the life of a man, who was betrothed to a beautiful girl. I killed him; he died with her name on his lips, after he managed to give me the first stroke of my crucifix scar.

Days later I met his betrothed, unknowingly of course, she had seen my kill a an assassin, but she was drunk. I contemplated silencing her, but in the end I took her back to the inn...

Tomoe, she was called. She became a servant girl there, and I would see her daily. She spoke to me of peace, of a life without the sword and violence. Her words confused and tormented me. I knew nothing but the sword, I knew nothing but murder. I could not see her ideals.

In those days life way hectic and dangerous, and eventually, a turn of events had it to be that I was forced to leave Kyoto, for my own safety. I was young and valuable to the Ishin Shishi, so Katsura thought it best for me to leave until things settled down.

So I left, Tomoe was ordered to come along with me, and to pose as my wife. I was to move out into the country as a simple married man, who led a quite life. Such a pretense forced me to lay down my sword for the time being. I was to live peaceably; it was odd at first, but I adjusted well; I loved my life. I loved the peace.

And soon I loved also Tomoe."

I pause in an attempt to assess his emotions. Anger, I feel. I glance up momentarily to steal a look at his eyes. All I see is fury, but I expected no less; I lower my head again.

So I go on, "We continued our lives, and one day I decided to make her my real wife. I made love to her that night, the night I proposed. But when I awoke the next day, she was gone.

The immediate events after that are all a blur to me, I don't remember much. After marrying your mother, I spent my days pushing my dark memories away from me, as I allowed Kaoru's happiness and fierce spirit to consume me.

But I do remember that Tomoe died, by my hand. In an attempt to protect me from a man who wanted me dead, she thrust herself between us in battle and allowed her own life to be taken instead of mine.

As a parting gift she created the other half of my scar with my katana; the first half of which was given to me by her beloved…

…The completion of this scar remains to this day, a reminder of the pain my existence had brought to those two souls. I had ripped their lives apart, and the memory of their fates was permanently engraved on my face."

I take a deep breath before continuing.

"I remained Battousai for three more years, after that the Revolution was drawing to its close, it was then that I left the shadows; and I was replaced by one called Makoto Shishio.

I became a wanderer for ten years, as a form of repentance for all the blood I've shed. I carry my reverse-blade sword, to protect rather than to destroy; reversing my gift of murder into one of peace and life.

Though I may never bring back those who I destroyed, I vowed never to take life again, only to save those who I can. I was unworthy of any good but…

…But fate showed me kindness, and in the tenth year of the Meiji era, I stumbled along the streets of Tokyo, aimlessly.

Not too far of here I met a beautiful girl with a bokken, and after a short exchange, and an interesting turn of events, my life at Kamiya dojo began. Shortly after that Kaoru and I met Yahiko, Sanosuke and then Miss Megumi, and further on we met our other array of good friends we have today.

And then on a beautiful moonlit night, not long after our marriage, Kaoru and I formed you, the perfect gift of our love. And now I am a simple swordsman, husband and hopefully, still...a father."

I feel the tears I can no longer hold back, slap against my palms as they fall from my eyes. My past pains me, what I have done pains, who I am pains me.

I was foolish if I expected him to even remotely like me after all this, perhaps he should never have known, but he deserved to…

I will never be able to live without the love and admiration he has shown me for so many years...

My tears fall harder, as I can no longer conceal the pain I feel. Amidst my silent sobbing I manage to hear him rise to his feet. He's leaving...he must be...why else would he stand?

But he remains stationed, unmoving.

I fear that he will run away and never look back, and for once I feel the pain my Kaoru felt when I took off so many years ago. I now know the fear she feels every time I step through those gates. The fear that I will never return...

I understand, and I loathe it.

I hear his footsteps; they seem to be approaching me... but why? Will he slay me for my sins? Will my long, dark history and my short-lived happiness end here and now?

Will he rid Japan of this plague, which goes by the name of Himura Kenshin?

Whatever he decides, whatever my judgment is, I will readily embrace it.

I feel his calloused hands rest on my slumped shoulders. With my eyes still downward held, I see the spotless white of his hakama press into the grass under his knees.

I feel his forehead collide gently with the crown of my head, as he kneels, slightly towering over me; his bangs intertwine with mine.

His words, the ones that follow his actions, move me beyond human understanding and logic.

"Rise father" he says to me, his voice stern, hard, dead serious, yet without a trace of hatred and coldness.

"Give me my sword, I accept the legacy of Himura Kenshin, my father before me, and I will live by the strength and honor he lives by. I will walk by the ideals he walks by. I will make you proud. _My father_."

I feel my frame begin to tremble as I hold back another wave of tears. My emotions threaten to consume me. His acceptance, his love, his words, there are too much for me. I do not understand him, how can he say this to me, knowing who I am.

The only love and purity of this sort I have ever experienced before was that of Kaoru's. And I slowly realize that though he may have inherited my exact physical appearance, he must have inherited his self-less, forgiving heart from him mother.

He truly is the perfect form of both of us; a gift of our love.

I silently whisper a word of thanks to Kaoru for her kind spirit, and wiping my tears away I stand to face him.

His hands fall from my shoulders as my eyes meet his.

Taking a step back, I reach around the hem of my hanten as I stretch his sheathed sakabatou before him in a horizontal fashion, my fingers wrapping around it at about the center of its length.

"Himura Kenji" I say, unable to conceal my pride, "I present to you this reverse-blade sword as a gift of Genpuku, know the legacy of your father before you, live it and take it with you even to your grave."

His palms clasp it as he releases in from my grip, and bowing on both knees, I hear him say, "Yes, with all my strength."

Sensing a familiar ki nearby, I turn to see a pair of blue eyes looking back at me with a sense of pride and pure happiness. _Kaoru._

I look back with equal pride and happiness, and the smile we share is momentarily broken as the air rushes from my lungs.

Rising from his bow, my son holds in a strong embrace, "Thank you father; for everything."

At last, my life is complete; and I Himura Kenshin, am truly happy.

* * *

I know there is a plot change, because Kenshin never passed Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu on to anyone, but this is the ending to the anime I've dreamt for, for ages.

Whether good, bad or ugly, please tell your feelings and leave a **review**.

Thanks a lot.

;-)

Sani.


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